Of Healing and Growth

Posted in All Our Dreams, Growing Things, People We Love on June 1, 2009 by Michelle Taylor

Our garden is bursting just as our hearts are bursting.  Most days, you can see us peeking out the window or traipsing around the garden’s edges, checking on each leaf, each flower.  So far, in various stages,  we have spinach, peas, various tomatoes, watermelon, pumpkins, tomatillos, egg plant, acorn squash, various sunflowers, radishes, carrots, basil and many other herbs.  All powerful we are, growing our own food.

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Food that we plan to share.  Spinach and carrots for dad who has literally healed his heart with vegetables and walking.  Dad’s heart is now working at 50%.  Most hearts work at 55-60%.  After his heart attack Dad’s heart was working at 35% and the doctors didn’t know if it would get any better.  But he is living proof that diet and exercise can change your life.  He is determined to get it back to working to its full potential.  With this renewed heart, Dad is savoring every moment.  You can see his love radiating from his every pore.  Heart attacks are bad, very bad, devastating monsters but I believe we have more of dad today than we did before that horrendous April morning when none of us knew what his fate would be.

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So, we’re growing our tomatoes and our hearts, big and red and strong.  The vibration we feel from our own beating hearts and that of the earth itself is the same.  Toiling the soil is giving us moments of pause.  Our day slows as we watch for each new opening flower, each new sprouting leaf.  Today we watched as the purple of the radishes began to show in the black dirt and the yellow flowers of a beginning tomato open.  Each day is something new, something fresh, something we didn’t have the day before.

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One Sunny Spot

Posted in Growing Things, Making Things on May 11, 2009 by Michelle Taylor

We live on Dead Horse Canyon, one of the largest green belts in Seattle.  When you stand on our back porch and look out, you sort of forget that you live in Seattle.  You feel a bit like you’re camping instead.

This is why we bought our house.  Really.  The single reason.  And we LOVE it.  But this means that there is really only one spot in our entire yard that isn’t in complete shade.  This spot has previously been a driveway.  But it is no more.

I tried to create a garden in the back a few years ago but nothing grew due to lack of sun.  So now, we have a 12′ by 16′ (ish) garden spot, in direct sunlight, smack dab in our front yard.  Made of completely recycled and FREE materials. – thanks to our wonderful friend Jason.  We banged it together and it turned out beautifully.  Now it just needs to grow!

I also need to figure out how to keep the dog and the kid out until the plants are at least a little sturdy.  The minute Autumn saw it put together, she nearly passed out at the idea of a “giant dog pound.”  She nearly came apart when I told her we were going to fill it with dirt.  Oh, the horror of it all.

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First Salon Haircut

Posted in Adventures, Autumn Wilder on April 28, 2009 by Michelle Taylor

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Somewhat by accident at Retroactive Kids.

Reincarnation: The Upside to Dying

Posted in Autumn Wilder, Learning Autumn, Learning Mama on April 27, 2009 by Michelle Taylor

I’ve been so tired of talking about dogs.  This obsession of Autumn’s is going on three years now.  We talk about breeds, what breeds she wants, when is she going to get another dog – when, when when? Then we talk about what they eat, what kinds of beds they like, what kinds of bowls they should have, what dogs have fur verses hair, etc.  And I’ve had my fill.

But since the topic of conversation has turned to death, I’m all about bringing the dog conversations back.  We are constantly, especially in the car,  having these intense death conversations.  She’s scared, worried and obsessing about something new.  But I don’t want to think about it because then I start obsessing too.

I’ve been trying to tell her all of the things that different people think about the afterlife.  And when I told her about reincarnation, she was totally on board.  Now she mostly talks about what we are going to be after we die.  According to her, she’s going to be a dog, I’m going to be an owl and her dad is going to be a zombie.”  Apparently he has some work to do in his next life.

Mama Earth Day

Posted in Growing Things, Making a Difference on April 23, 2009 by Michelle Taylor

Guerilla Gardening and Earth Day Seed Bombing and Planting.

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Growing and loving earth EVERY DAY!

Yard Therapy

Posted in Growing Things, Making Things on April 20, 2009 by Michelle Taylor

I’ve been feeling so sad and lost. I guess for everything there is a grieving process, even when the outcome looks hopeful. Today I woke up finally feeling the hopeful part. So I walked outside with my two sidekicks to do some weed pulling, path building, seed planting therapy.

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Oh how I detest the proverbial feet shot but walking out my door today felt so much like a statement in a positive direction.
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We planted flowers, started rows and fed the roses and lilacs.
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We drank coffee on the porch, walked barefoot, with the sun so warm we shed our outer layers.

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I got a dandelion bouquet from my best girl.

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With the wormiest yard on the block, Autumn was so busy.

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She grew back. Sometimes I’m so shocked to see something live through the winter.

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My brick path is finally down. It’s tipsy, turvy and totally crooked – just like my fence, my yard, my rose bushes, my hair. I figure if it had come out straight, it would have looked weird in our yard.

Feeling somewhat back to normal but of course always a little crooked.

A Fear of Dying

Posted in Autumn Wilder on April 19, 2009 by Michelle Taylor

It’s been rough around here.  I’ve been gone.  Something Autumn isn’t use to.  On top of dad’s heart attack, Autumn has been obsessed with death.  It started with the death of three dogs in the family.  Two were cremated and she discovered their boxes at Don’s moms.  The other dog died suddenly and was only three years-old.  She was my mom’s dog.  She is buried at my mom’s with her collar.

Autumn can’t shake any of this.  She is now obsessed with her own death.  She asked me tonight as we were eating chips, carrots and hummus, if we would eat corn chips after we died.  She collected some drawings to put in her grave because she cannot fathom being burned.  At bedtime I was reading “Mouldy Mansion” and now she wants that buried with her too.  As much as I tell her that she doesn’t need to worry and that she is young (although she keeps throwing mom’s dog being young back at me) she is still really worried.

Today she asked me all about my grandparents (who have died) and how they died and how old they were and on and on.  I don’t know how we’re going to shake this.  I had her call and talk to grandpa today.  He told her we were going to go fishing and play together when we visit in a couple of weeks.  I want things to feel normal and okay and for her not to worry.  Although she is my daughter, so getting her stop worrying is probably not possible.