Mama-Hood

I began writing this blog because sometimes I feel a little crazy as I move along this path of mama-hood.  Sometimes when I read other blogs, blogs that actually tell the truth, rather than tie everything in a neat little bow for the world to see, I feel a connection, a real sense of “I’m not alone in this”.  And I know that’s cliche’ but it’s the truth.  Mama blogs that only show the sun shinning, the peace lingering, the perfect set of child and parents mingling don’t give me half as much as the dirty truth of  the “in trenches” mama blogs.  I began writing this blog not only for me but for those parents who feel this same way.  Yes, sometimes I purposefully create posts that are sunny and lovely, if I didn’t someone would surely report me for all the questioning that goes on within these pages.  Although those sunny days are also just as true.  I’m all for being positive and seeing the bright side of life but sometimes I don’t want to.  I want to lay it out for myself and for some other parent who might be feeling the same way.  I don’t want sympathy or opinions for that matter, I just want those other mama’s to know that they aren’t alone.

And yes I know that sometimes I seem:

  • like I’m about to lose my mind
  • crazy
  • moody
  • over-dramatic
  • over-emotional
  • irrational
  • stubborn
  • one-sided

but don’t we all sometimes and isn’t that okay?  Isn’t that the beauty of this trip?  So, just in case you’re worried, we’re fine.  No, I’m not ready to separate from my child and yes, I think that is okay.  No, she’s not going to be harmed by continuing to go to school at one of the best schools in the city just because I’m also there.  Yes, I need to step back more at school and let her work it out.  Yes, she’s perfectly fine the way she is even if that isn’t like anyone else I know (in fact it is probably a good thing).  Yes, I have re-evaluated my expectations of her and of myself and that has taken so much pressure off.  Yes, I need to believe in both of us more, don’t we all need to?  Yes, teacher’s have doubts too.  No, I really don’t have any answers, I’m only trying to do the very best I know how each and every day like so many other people I know.  Yes, she’s my child and thankfully I get to make the decision about her life, at least for now.

I just love her and want the very best I can give her.  She’s my one and only.  She’s my setting sun.  And we are so imperfect in our perfectness together.

Move along now.  There’s nothing more to see here.

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