Testing, Testing, 123

Today I took this test:

4.5 hours. And it totally sucked! It was sooooooo hard and it took me the ENTIRE time to finish. I was writing my final essay like a crazy woman with ten minutes to go. And I studied. After it was over, I went to the bathroom and this obviously intelligent woman was stressing out because she didn’t even get to the essay portion before the test ended.

And all I could think while I was doing it was, “why am I even involved in any of this bureaucratic bullshit anyway – I don’t even believe in it. And does any of it help me with any of the real issues I deal with on a daily basis in my class like how the hell do I get my 5, 6 and 7 year-olds to stop trying to off each other on a regular basis – oh, yeah, come on kids lets do a little trig. to calm our nerves.”

I’m actually already certified to teach but in the state of NY where I got my Master’s in Education from Sarah Lawrence. And when I took the teachers cert. there, it was so easy peasy. I finished the four hour test in about an hour and a half and didn’t miss ANY!

So, my conclusion is, either you don’t have to be very smart to be a NY teacher? (Not to say anything about those rockin’ NY teachers who put up with so much shit – I know, I was there.) Or I was way smarter five years ago due to not ever having been pregnant, given birth and nursed this glorious parasite that I brought into this world – bye bye brain matter! Or maybe it’s a sign to move onto something new.

Shit, I haven’t solved for (y) since before I was introduced to sex, drugs and grunge!

Fingers, toes, nose hairs crossed that I passed. Or not. It’s really not going to change anything anyway.


One Response to “Testing, Testing, 123”

  1. Or, it could be, they made the tests harder. Not that making the tests harder necessarily helps anything, but it makes bureaucrats feel like they’ve done something, to make potential licensees sweat.

    “Harder” doesn’t mean “more relevant.” “Harder” doesn’t mean “better.”

    After speech writing, news writing, legislating and lawyering, I made it through the social studies certification with just one night’s study — a glitch in the notification system of the certifying agency I paid $3,000 to twiddle their thumbs. Not much of it was relevant to anything I taught at the time, nor since. The certification means I’m “qualified” to teach world history, but there were only three world history questions on the exam, none related to the Russian Revolution, none related to any of the great pre-history of Asia, Africa or Europe . . .

    To my shock and surprise, I discovered that, according to Texas, I’m qualified to teach psychology in Texas high schools. Never had a psych class in my life. Who knew?

    I was hopeful to see your post on Hillary/Obama. I don’t know how long it will take to undo the damage of the Bush administration, but I hope we can start soon.

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