My Little Gender Bender

Not completely intentionally but subconsciously-fighter of all things stereotypical-intentionally, I have never referenced gender to my daughter. I’ve tried to not called her my little girl, or even my girl, I dress her in blue and red and my favorite, black (although there is some pink in there but just in the last year or so (it all really depends on the hand-me-downs that I get.)

I wanted her to have a woman naturopath, a male teacher and I was thrilled to have a visiting female fire fighter come to our school. I’ve never bought her Barbie’s, Disney stuff or anything excessively Pepto Bismol pink. Hmmm. I guess it’s intentional – I just didn’t really think about it exactly like that until her teacher told me that Autumn doesn’t know the difference between boys and girls. I wasn’t sure if she was saying that it was strange, good or bad but I was thrilled.

She is three and doesn’t see or at least doesn’t voice the differences between males and females. She’s seen both of her parents naked and knows our bodies are different, but it feels more like she just sees everyone as their own individual selves and doesn’t labeled anyone by their gender because she hasn’t been told to. I hear kids all the time talk about how only girls are nurses and how boys can’t play with dolls.

I’m not sure why it hasn’t effected her yet but I can’t believe my good fortune. She is GIRL and I know it and I’m glad but she doesn’t yet carry around the label and the expectation of girl yet. I don’t often feel like the greatest parent but when I heard this coming from her teacher, my mama breasts heaved a happy sigh of (at least temporary) relief.

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One Response to “My Little Gender Bender”

  1. astralwicks Says:

    my sister has two daughters. in india, where having boys is the norm and girls are considered almost a curse. but they are doing great. most of my cousins have daughters (sorry for the word). and you are doing great as a parent when your kids have learnt not to differentiate between the sexes. keep up the good work. more power to the new mother.

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